Little Pink Lines

I will never forget the day that I took my pregnancy test. I was only one day late, and Dave wanted me to wait until the following week to do it, but when he went to work I went out and bought two tests. I took one and could only see a very faint pink line. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I called Dave to tell him and was having a bit of a panic attack.

Dave was stuck at work, but he made a call to my best friend, Kelly. He did not tell her what was going on, only that I was at home and could use a friend. Twenty minutes later she showed up at my door with ice cream. That is Kelly…not only is she there when needed, but she always brings ice cream, too!

We sat and talked for about an hour before she finally asked what was going on.

“I took a pregnancy test and I think it may be positive, but I’m not sure.” I told her.

“You let me sit here and talk for an hour and you didn’t tell me that?” She said.

I showed her the test and told her that I planned to wait to take the second one. She promptly talked me into taking it right then and there. She actually stood and watched the test under a lamp as it happened. She watched the little pink lines as they appeared and told me that it was most definitely positive. Finally, Kelly told me that it was okay and that I would be a great mom. She was excited.

My best friend was the first person to know I was pregnant. She was the first person to make me feel excited instead of feeling like I had screwed up. She was one of only two close friends who continued to be my friend throughout the pregnancy. She did not let it freak her out. Instead she brought me ice cream (after calling to see what cravings I had that week), she went shopping for maternity clothes and nursing bras. And to top it all off she waited at the hospital all night for my daughter to be born.

Hats off to you, Kelly. No one deserves to be Leah’s godmother more than you do. I couldn’t ask for a better friend…after all, who else would stand there staring hard at a stick that I had peed on seconds before just hoping to see some pink lines?


A Failed Attempt

Yesterday we decided that when Leah wakes up at night we are not going to go in and rock her back to sleep anymore. This is because for the past 3 or so weeks she has been waking up every single night around an hour after going to bed. One of us would go in and rock her back to sleep. Sometimes it took doing this 3 or 4 times before she was down for the night. We haven’t sat down and watched tv or a movie together in nearly a month. It is just getting out of hand!

Leah went to bed last night at 8:30. Sure enough, at 9:08 we heard her begin to fuss. This was it, and we were determined to be strong. We had agreed not to enter her room unless she started really crying, which of course, she did. Dave went in the room first. He tried for 10 minutes to calm her down, but to no avail. It was my turn.

I stood at the side of her crib for 20 minutes. I rubbed her head, rubbed her back, hummed, and talked softly. At times she would seem to be asleep. I would quietly begin to walk to the door, but halfway there she would be crying again. Finally, she began to throw a tantrum. She would not stay laying down. She cried and held her arms out to me. Dave came in and I went back out to the livingroom to cry. It was all my fault, and all she wanted was to be cuddled by me.

We continued taking turns until 10:30 when I realized that Leah’s diaper was pretty wet. I finally took her out of the crib to change her. I couldn’t stand the thought of putting her back in and starting the crying all over again. So, I sat in the rocking chair and cuddled my baby back to sleep. She won. Tonight there will be a rematch.

Nice to Meet You

Hello. I figured that a good way to start this blog would be to tell you a little bit about myself. I used to be this shy, introverted girl in high school. I got straight A’s, participated in school sanctioned events, and never partied or really did much of anything with friends. Then I started dating Dave.

We actually met in our 9th grade global history class. He had a crush on me, but I was asked out by someone else before he got up the nerve to do it. Throughout the first three years of high school we really didn’t see much of each other. As seniors though, our paths crossed again. We began to date and I began to stay out until the wee hours of the morning, skip school (hey, I still kept the straight A’s), and go to parties.

While David brought me out of my shell, I calmed him down a bit. Once we began dating, he stopped partying as often as he used to. We found each other and created a perfect balance. I spent nearly every waking moment with Dave. I would stay at his house until 2 o’clock in the morning just sitting up and talking. My mom, who is pretty laid back most of the time, began to get annoyed with the amount of time I devoted to my boyfriend.

Senior year passed in a blur and I wasn’t ready to go away to school. I couldn’t leave my family behind, and I had no idea what I wanted to study. So, I enrolled in community college and got my own apartment. Ok, my parents were paying for the apartment. I was spoiled. Anyway, of course Dave was going to the same school.

To make a long story short, we wound up living together, against my parent’s will. Over the next year we went to school, got mono, partied a little and basically did what any college students with their own apartment would do. I dropped out of community college and went to a tech school to learn television and video production. Less than two months into that program I realized that I was pregnant.

I was terrified at first. I had no idea what my parents were going to say. Their smart, responsible daughter had not only dropped out of college and moved in with her boyfriend, but now she was knocked up. I thought they would see me as a screw-up. To make matters worse, they are divorced and remarried, so I had to face the thought of telling two separate sets of parents.

I started with my mom. I went to see her at work (she is a teacher). We took a walk around the building. At first she was very serious as she told me what my options were. I think she knew that adoption wasn’t for me, and I am pretty sure it wasn’t even mentioned. I told her that I could never get an abortion. Suddenly a grin spread across her face as the realization that she was going to be a grandma sunk in.

When I told my stepfather later that afternoon, he actually did a little happy dance.

“Please tell me that Dave isn’t the father and that this was an immaculate conception.” He joked.

My dad and stepmom also took the news well. Basically everyone told me that it would be okay and that I was going to be a great mom. That was the first time that it hit me how deep parental love goes. I had gone and basically screwed up my whole future and everything they wanted for me, but they still found it in their hearts to be happy.

Everything worked out. I had love and support from my family, and from Dave throughout my pregnancy, and still today. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and she is so loved by so many people! We even live in an apartment that is attached to my grandmother’s house. We are so lucky to have such support from our families.

That was long, and maybe somewhat boring. I plan to be much more entertaining from now on, but I thought if you are going to read this, maybe you would like some background information.