A Guest Post on Motherhood Fears

This is my first time hosting a guest post, but I just have to share the thoughts of my friend Kim, who talked about the scary parts of motherhood so eloquently! Here is what she had to say:

There is just so much about becoming a mom that is scary.

Some people feel like they can lose their identity.  It’s hard becoming a mom for the first time, especially if you’re the first of your friends to do so.  Friendships don’t necessarily disappear overnight, but you start to slowly realize that as you become a mom, single friends without kids just start to slowly back off.  Not that they want to leave you behind, but sometimes, it’s harder to relate, and sometimes, those friends can feel isolated as well.  So, we’re scared when we first become a mom because who we once were, those people we loved so much, it all seems to start to disappear.

What if I get it wrong?  I mean, how can you not have anxiety about caring for and raising another human being.  And when you go out to the store and see the frazzled mom whose kid is throwing a major tantrum in the middle of aisle 3, all you can think is “oh my god, what if that happens to me?  What am I going to do?  Look at the way everyone is staring at her.”  And, as much contempt as we have for those mom’s before we have kids, once we’re pregnant we wonder if that’s going to be us and how can we stop it.  In short…..you can’t.  It is inevitable.  No matter what you do, how well you raise your child, anything…..one day, you will have that child in the middle of aisle 3 and you will be that frazzled mom.  And, that’s scary.

There are a million and one scary things about becoming a mom.  And the truth is, those scary things never go away.  You will always doubt yourself.  You will always compare yourself to other mom’s.  Not because you will think you’re better than them, but because you will wonder what they are doing right that you aren’t.  The truth is…..NOTHING!!!!

At the end of the day….when you are that frazzled mom in aisle 3, when you screamed at your child for the first time and have broken down and cried after vowing to NEVER be THAT mom, when you’ve given them ice cream for dinner because you can’t manage to find the energy to cook an actual meal that day, when you doubt every fiber in your being that you’re a good mom…..remember this………

This…..right here…..This is what it’s all about.  Because, at the end of the day, no matter how much I’ve messed up….these kids love me unconditionally, and tomorrow is a new day 🙂  So, yes, motherhood is scary…..but it is a million times worth it

Kim with her first born, Corbin.

Kim with her first born, Corbin.

And with her daughter, Marlee.

And with her daughter, Marlee.

Explaining Divorce to my Four-year Old

Today as we were leaving the market, I pointed across the street and told Leah,

Me: Look Leah, that is where mommy first started going to school.

Leah: Really? Who signed you up?

Me: Mana and Grandpa Lou.

Leah: So, wait…when you were little you lived with Mana…and a friend?

Me: No silly! Grandpa Lou is my daddy. You know that. He and Mana used to be married to each other.

Leah: Oh. Then they broke apart?

Me: Yes. They broke apart. But then, Grandpa Lou married Grandma Carla, and Mana married Papa. And then I was really lucky because I got to have two mommies and two daddies!

Leah: Wow! Really?!

Me: Yes, and now that is why you get to have so many awesome grandparents.

Leah: Yeah, I have two boy grandparents and two girl grandparents! They all love me.

I know that divorce is a heartbreaking event, and that not everyone who goes through it gets a Happily Ever After. However, today I am feeling incredibly blessed. Of course, initially it was tough for me when my parents split up, but I did end up with four amazing parents and grew up surrounded by love and support. Now my daughter gets to experience that same love from all of her grandparents, who do indeed love her very much. And, it certainly made explaining divorce to a four year old much easier!

My Blog Button!

Hello, fellow bloggers! Well, I have finally done it. Thanks to Chasing a Daredevil and Twins for posting instructions on how to do this, I have finally created my own blog button! Here is the link to the image URL if you would like to share it on your blog:

https://gdemarco89.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/blog-button.jpg

Also, if you don’t know what a blog button is or how to add one to your blog, or make your own, here is a great post about how to do so!

If you share my button on your blog, please leave me a comment with the link to your own blog button and I would be happy to share yours as well!

Thanks all! 🙂

blog button

 

Liebster Award!

Hello, everyone. I have not been around as much lately, but I am trying to catch up here! Recently, I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Melissa at Loving Always. Thank you for nominating me, Melissa! This award’s purpose is to help smaller, newer blogs get some more followers, and you therefore nominate blogs who have less than 200 followers. Unfortunately, I don’t follow a ton o blogs, due to lack of time to read them. Out of the ones I do follow, I found only three that have less than (or slightly more than) 200 followers. But, I love reading these blogs and am so excited to nominate them for this award!

liebster2

Here are the rules:

You must link back the person who nominated you.

You must answer the 10 Liebster questions given to you by the nominee before you.

You must pick 10 bloggers to be nominated for the award with under 200 followers.

You must come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

You must go to their blogs notify your nominees.

 

Here are the answers to my 10 Questions from Melissa!

1.What is your go-to supper foods?

I use a lot of ground beef, because it is easy to cook and there is so much you can do with it. I use it in goulash and tacos or taco casserole the most. Another easy dish that I like to make is chicken cacciatore in the crock pot. I love crock pot cooking, especially now that I am pregnant!

2.One thing you CANNOT leave your house without?

Leah! Hahaha, just kidding. I always have my phone with me, just in case of emergency. Besides, if I lock my keys in the house, at least I can call someone to help, right? 😉

3.What is your favorite tv show?

It’s a toss-up between Once Upon a Time and Parenthood. I love both, but they are quite different. Plus, Once Upon a Time is a show that Dave and I watch together, but Parenthood is my guilty pleasure, that I watch by myself every week. I always have tissues on hand for that as well!

4.Why do you blog?

I love to write. I love that people are interested in what I have to say. It also gives me a great creative outlet to jot down and keep all of my motherhood memories. Someday Leah (and baby Christopher) will have an awesome account of their childhoods to read.

5.What is something that you do all the time, but regret later?

Lately, it’s eating peppers, haha! This pregnancy I am totally all about Mexican and other spicy food and I keep cooking with peppers, but then I get really bad heartburn and wonder why I did that to myself.

6.Favorite animal?

Dog, but we don’t have any pets. I like it that way. They are a lot of responsibility.

7.Type the first three words that pop into your head.. GO! (no cheating.. mine are naptime, coffee, babies) lol

Bananas, Leah, bathroom (I have a baby kicking my bladder, lol!)

8.What made you pick the name for your blog that you did?

Hehe, well I use it ironically. I know I am a good mom, but super would be an over statement. I am just winging this whole motherhood thing one day at a time!

9.Favorite store to shop at?

Target. They have everything!

10.What is some advice that you think everyone should know?

The world would be a better place if people were more supportive of one another, and if we could agree to disagree on things.

 

Okay, time for my nominees! For the Liebster Blogging Award, I nominate:

How to Ruin a Toddler’s Day

The Winding Road

Chasing a Daredevil and Twins

All three are great blogs, which I highly recommend.

Ladies, if you accept the award, here are your ten questions from me!

1. Who do you blog for?

2. What do you love most about being a mom?

3. What is your dream vacation?

4. If you could have any job, what would it be and why?

5. What is your favorite movie?

6. Does your family read your blog?

7. Favorite junk food?

8. List three random facts about yourself.

9. If you could instill only one piece of wisdom or advice in your children, what would it be?

10. How much time do you spend blogging?

Busy, Busy!

Hello Readers! I just wanted to write you all a note to let you know that I haven’t forgotten you all and I haven’t lost steam on blogging. I appreciate each and every one of you who reads this, and each and every comment or like that I get! I know I have awards that I haven’t acknowledged yet, and a promise to post a blog button and swap with some of you!

As for the blog button, I don’t have Microsoft paint on my laptop, which has Windows 8 (which I am really not a fan of, by the way!). I can do it from my husband’s computer, and I most definitely will at some point!

I just have been busy being Leah’s mom and trying to enjoy as much one on one time with her before the baby is born. On top of that, I am still a full time student, now studying for my Bachelor’s degree, and a stay at home mom with lots of responsibilities around the house. I have had time to pop in and post some great Leahisms lately, but not much else. I promise, though, that I will get to everything soon!

Thanks for reading!

Leah on Earning an Allowance

The other night Dave and I talked to Leah about starting to do a few simple chores to earn an allowance. We decided on making her bed, clearing her dishes, picking up her toys, brushing her teeth twice a day, and getting herself into her own pj’s. Dave looked at me and asked if I thought $2/week was fair and I agreed.

Leah looked up and said, “What about $3?”

Dave answered, “Well, how about a bonus category to give you a chance to earn another dollar every week, for trying new foods?”

I agreed that this was a great idea, but Leah looked skeptical.

“Well,” she said. “I don’t know about that. My piggy bank has some dollars in it already and I don’t think all those extra dollars would fit!”

She may be stubborn, and a picky eater, but she is one smart little girl!

Leah on her ‘Loveys’

Last week I was putting Leah to bed one night when she asked me about one of her lovey’s, a small blanket made when I was pregnant by the mom of a very good friend (I call her my Spare Mom)! The lovey used to be very soft and yellow, but now it is more gray and worn, haha. I told Leah that when Spare Mom made it for me she told me how babies are comforted by their mother’s smell. I slept with it under my pillow for the rest of my pregnancy, and even after Leah was born. Whenever I had to leave her with someone, or put her down for a nap, I would give her the yellow lovey so that she could have my smell, and it comforted her.

“Mommy,” Leah asked. “How come babies know their mommy’s smell, but I don’t really know it now?”

“Well,” I answered, “Babies need a way to feel comforted and to know that even though they can’t see their mommy that she is always coming back and she always loves them. Now that you are a big girl you already know how much I love you. And, you know what else? Even when you can’t see me, I am ALWAYS with you, in your heart.”

My baby girl looked at me with her big, saucer-like eyes brimming with tears of love.

“Well Mommy, I am always in YOUR heart, too, because I just love you so much.” she told me.

It was such a beautiful moment between mother and daughter, one that I will never forget as long as I live.

Mothers and daughters have such an amazing, beautiful relationship, at least in my experience. I am so glad that my four year old daughter already has a sense of that. It must mean that I am doing something right.