It’s not even officially summer vacation yet. There are still two half-days left in the school year and my kids are already fighting.
Remember all of my posts about my heart melting because my kids love each other so much? Yeah, not so much lately! A day barely goes by without at least one incident resulting in tears or at least whining and tattling!
Today, I had a totall kook-out. Once again, we had barely walked in the door from getting Leah out of school when they started. They went into the pantry for a snack and I heard Chris scream,
“No Leah! Those are MY food!”
I quickly got up, but they were faster. They emerged from the pantry in a full-on tug of war over a bag of cheese doodles. Yes, cheese doodles; something I normally refrain from buying because I don’t actually know what they are. And there are my two children, yanking a bag of the offensive orange (whatever they are) back and forth.
So, I lost it.
“WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO THIS ALL SUMMER LONG!” I screamed, “FIRST OF ALL, I DO NOT BUT ANY FOOD FOR JUST ONE PERSON. ALL OF THE FOOD IN THIS HOUSE IS FOR EVERYONE TO SHARE! AND YOU-” I looked at Leah, ” YOU DO NOT GO AND YANK ON SOMETHING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HANDS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”
With that I plucked the bag from both of their grasps, poured two small bowls full of stupid cheese doodles, and held the bowls out of their reach until they both apologized to one another.
What am I in for???
Lately I have been feeling very stressed about finances. Last December, my husband and I were finally able to buy our dream home. This was an amazing goal for us to teach, but we are definitely feeling the strain, especially since I only work per diem.
My jobs ebbs and flows, and while there are times where I have tons of hours, right now is a time where there are hardly any. I have been half-heartedly applying for full-time work, but also considering the implications if I am to do so. How much will childcare cost? And most importantly, what will I be missing out on, and who can possibly care for my children well enough?
Wr make ends meet, but many sacrifices are made for me to be at home. In light of everything going on with Chris lately I don’t even know what we would do if I worked more.
Yesterday I had an epiphany. Christopher and I took a walk through the little village where we live in our new house, and found “the old iron spring”. Chris was delighted and loved sticking his feet in the water. When I asked if he was ready to head home yet he replied,
“Not yet mommy. I just wove it here with you!”
In that moment, my heart nearly burst with joy, and I knew that I have been making the right decisions all along. Every penny that I miss out on is worth the hugs, kisses, smiles, and memories that I am blessed to make with my children each day.
the sacrifices we make for me to be at home are nothing compared to the sacrifices I would make if I worked full time. Sure we would live more comfortably, but I would miss out on so much more important things. Being a mom is my calling.