The real “parent trap” is, for some, co-sleeping! I know this can be a hot button issue, but for me it was never a choice that I consciously made to do or not do with any of my children. My mind basically becomes mush when I need sleep, and decisions are often made by instinct.
With Leah, I didn’t really co-sleep, at least not at night. She was my easiest baby and slept very well! She would, however, wake up very early, and I quickly learned that if we brought her into our bed she would snuggle in and go back to sleep for a few more hours. Yup, I said HOURS! So, it was definitely worth it.
With Christopher, it was self preservation that led me to co-sleep. The baby did not sleep, ever. At all. We brought him home from the hospital and he was just awake all the time. He would fuss when I put him down. We took turns sleeping for two hours and then being up with him. By his fourth day I called my mom in tears because I was so exhausted! So, into our bed he came. Sometimes he would sleep, sometimes not. When he was a toddler I would let him watch Elmo while I dozed. I reasoned that crappy sleep was better than no sleep at all.
Eventually he did begin to catch some z’s, but he always needed endless snuggles, melatonin, arm sniffs (he loves my smell), and stories. And, he was so used to being in our bed that he continued to be with us. He finally started sleeping on his own when Gracie came along. Actually, a little before she was born. She liked to kick all night in my belly and that bothered him! I cannot make this stuff up 😂.
And then there was Grace. She actually started out a good sleeper, much like her big sister. There were occasional times, when she was sick or being extra clingy, when she would climb into our bed. For the most part, she was pretty great!
Until we moved. We had a period of two months between selling our old house and moving into our new one. During that time we stayed in a one bedroom apartment and the three kids shared the bedroom. Dave and I had our mattress in the living room. Grace would not fall asleep in her crib there, although she had been doing it for a year at the old house. It started with snuggling her on our mattress until she was out and then moving her, but quickly turned into her joining us again a fee hours later. We didn’t want her cries waking her siblings. By the time we got to the new house, habits were set in stone.
So, here I am, snuggling my three old in her bed and knowing that halfway through the night she will wake up and toddle to my room. At first it was rough. She liked the “H” position and Dave and I were miserable. Lately, however, I look forward to her coming in. Sometimes I hear her little feet running across the house. She climbs up up hands me a stuffed animal (she brings one for herself and one for me). I feel her body melt into mine and her breath evens out right away. I think to myself, maybe this isn’t ideal, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Maybe you co-sleep. Maybe you don’t. We all do what we need to survive, and we also do what is right for our children. I don’t regret anything. My baby is three and is so busy throughout the day. I am savoring our night time snuggles while they last, knowing that I may never experience love in the form of a sleepy hand reaching out to find me in the dark ever again
Thirty-Four Million Moments 