Bedtime Bliss

A few weeks or so ago I posted about Christopher’s horrible sleep habits and how my husband and I were basically turning into zombies. Around the beginning of March we couldn’t take it any more, and so we began sleep training. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I will tell you that Little Man was very resistant at first. He has now made so much progress, and he goes to sleep on his own! If he wakes at night, all it takes is a quick check from Mama or Dada and he lays back down and goes to sleep again. So much better! Naps, on the other hand, still are not going well. But I will take the night time sleep!!

Part of sleep training was the incorporation of a set bedtime routine, put in place to signal CW that it is time to sleep. He LOVES this routine!

The other night my heart became so full of joy and love. First of all, as I carried him off into his room for bed, I half-heartedly remarked, “Chris, say goodnight to Dada!”

You can imagine my happy surprise when he took his Nuk out of his mouth, looked at Dave, and said, “Nigh-night!”

We had purchased a white noise machine for his room, and when I brought him in and turned it on, again the Nuk came out and he grinned at me and went, “Shhhhhhhh…”, imitating the sound of the machine. We sat down to read some books and he will point at the pictures and turn the pages of the books he likes, or he will push away a book if he doesn’t want that one read. We read three, and then I turned out the light and began to rock and sing to my sweet boy. He cuddled into my chest and layed his head down on my shoulder. We stayed that way for about five minutes before my baby picked his head up and began kissing me.

“Are you ready for sleep?” I ask.

Christopher nods his head yes. I put him down in his crib and he begins to stand up. I figured it was too good to be true and now he is going to cry. No, wait…I’m wrong. He turns his face up to me for one last kiss before sitting back down, watching silently as I leave the room. And there is quiet, and if I listen on the baby monitor very carefully, I can hear the sound of the steady breathing of sweet baby slumber.

From The Mouths of Moms

There are so many sentences that I never even dreamed I would have to say, until I became a mother and they just started falling out of my mouth. Here are some of my favorite gems, and don’t forget to share yours in the comments!

“Please do not pick your sister’s nose!”

“We do NOT make milk puddles!”

“Don’t touch that. At least not until I wipe it!”

“Stop licking your hands!”

“Did you wipe? Did you flush?”

“Got your boogers!”

“Mommy is not a jungle gym.”

(In answer to the question, “How come whenever Chris is naked he can’t stop holding ‘it’?”) “Because he’s a boy, and they think it’s fun because it’s hanging out there.”

“Let me sniff your butt!”

…and many more!

Sleep Slump

Christopher is now thirteen months old, and he refuses to sleep for more than twenty minutes if he is not touching me or his Daddy. At first it was only affecting night time sleep, but it has spilled over to naps and the last few days he has cried for me and then immediately fallen asleep on my shoulder when I get him out of his crib.

At night, we have given in and resorted to just bringing him into our bed. Dave and I are sleeping so poorly with this arrangement (how can such a tiny person take up so much room?) but it is better than the almost zero sleep that we were getting when we kept getting up, rocking him back to sleep, and putting him back in his own bed, only to start the cycle again forty minutes later.

As if exhaustion weren’t hard enough, now that he has decided my shoulder is the only place he will nap I am falling way behind on my school work. I usually try to get as much done as I can during nap time, but with a snoozing babe in my arms I can only read, not type assignments.

To make matters worse, the solutions and expert opinions are all over the place, confusing my addled, sleep-deprived mind further. Some say that babies need to be close to their parents when they sleep and that is supposed to be the natural order of things. Others say  he needs to learn to self-soothe and that I have to let him cry it out. Some experts tout a happy medium, but to me those all sound very similar to crying it out.

We let Leah cry, using the Ferber method. Some of my very first entries in this blog are about that. She turned out fine, and is in fact a great sleeper now. However, I continue to feel guilt for the nights where I sat outside her bedroom letting my own tears fall as she screamed out for me. To let my child cry goes against every natural instinct that I have as a mother. And yet, my own daughter is proof that it works, that she is still a happy and well-adjusted child, and that she continues to be affectionate. So then, why can’t I bring myself to repeat the process? A week or two, and this could all be over. We could have two children sleeping through the night, I could be getting my homework done during naps, and less cranky.

I don’t understand how this happened. Did I hold my babies too much as infants? To me, it didn’t feel like I got to hold them enough. That time passes so quickly. Maybe it’s genetic. Maybe I’m a pushover. Maybe I am not at fault in any way, and this is just how things are.

Either way, I would love to hear what you did in this situation.

The Epitome of Christopher

All parents know that babies have a tendency to develop personalities that they end up carrying with them through life. I, for one, definitely think you can predict the kind of person your child will grow up to be based on early personality signs. Christopher has already developed quite the personality. Rather than describe him to you all, I am just going to share with you something that happened last night, and this story is the epitome of my little guy.

It was bedtime and Chris was getting sleepy. I brought him into his room, turned on Tranquil Turtle, and sat down in the rocking chair. I quietly hummed ‘You Are My Sunshine’ like I always do. For a few minutes he was restless and kept pointing his chubby little fingers at things in the room, straining to get to them. Finally, he settled in with his head on my chest. After about five minutes he felt heavier and I figured that if he wasn’t asleep he was at least close.

Then, all of a sudden, he sprang up in my arms with this huge, mischievous grin, and yelled, “Boo!” It scared the ever living heck out of me! He was so proud of himself!

That’s my boy!

Before the Chaos

Christopher is five months old today, and he is already “busy”! He is rolling both ways and has figured out how to combine rolling with laying on his back and pushing himself backwards with his legs to get around. He is grabbing for everything he can get his little hands on. He is a baby on the go, and each day is a new adventure for him, Leah, and me.

So quickly gone are the days of just holding him in my arms for hours, he and I gazing into each others eyes. I am so glad I enjoyed that fleeting time so much, because it was over so fast.

In the morning, before the chaos of the day, I get my cuddles. When Christopher awakens, all toothless grins but still bleary with sleep, I pick him up and he puts his soft little head down on my shoulder. He nuzzles his face into me as I inhale his baby smell. I gently sway back and forth, doing the mommy rock, and enjoying these first few moments of my baby’s day.

The weight of a child’s head upon your shoulder is possibly the sweetest feeling in the world, no matter how old your child is.

Suddenly, something will catch Christopher’s eye, and the moment is over. He will lift his head up, and his whole body wiggles with excitement. He begins arching his back and reaching his chubby little baby hands out, his way of saying, “Put me down, Mommy! I’ve got stuff to do!”

Rainy Saturday

The definition of contentment is to wake up to the sound of rain on the roof instead of the buzz of an alarm clock. To take your time in a warm shower and to step out feeling refreshed and then to find a happy, smiling baby is wide awake. The definition of contentment is to know that your other child sleeps soundly and peacefully, even through her brother’s high-pitched squeals of joy.

This morning I take a moment, while my son plays happily, while my daughter drifts through happy dreams, and while the rain pours down outside. In this moment I reflect on how it’s all the little things (the smile of a baby, long curls strewn across a pillow in semi-darkness) which are the ingredients for the purest joy.

 

No One Hurts My Baby…Not Even My Baby!

It happened. It was bound to happen at some point, but still it shook me up. My little boy got hurt/scared today. Not only that, but it was my little girl’s fault. He was playing on his play mat very happily, and she leaned over it to talk to him. Wanting to play with her brother, Leah grabbed one of the hanging toys, but then she accidentally let go of it and it came swinging back and hit Christopher in the face. It was purely by accident, and it was a soft toy and did not really hurt him, but it scared him and he screamed. I was sitting right there and immediately snatched my baby up to comfort him.

My very first instinct was to yell at Leah. It didn’t matter that she is one of my babies- she hurt my other baby and I wanted to cry and yell and blame. But, I didn’t. I took a deep breath, and spent a moment calming Christopher down. It took surprisingly long considering that he was not actually hurt.

I then turned to look at Leah, and saw the look of terror mixed with remorse that was on her face. And then I remembered all the times I accidentally bumped her head getting her into the car or even on a wall walking by. I am sure those times are to come with Christopher as well. As much as we want to be Super Mom and never see our kids hurt, it happens to the best of us. We feel horrible, but they are okay.

I assured Leah that it was just an accident, and that while she needs to be careful with the little guy, he was not hurt and she was not in trouble. She buried her face in the couch for a moment, but then I showed her that he was okay and encouraged her to give him a kiss. We all moved on, crises averted, and I hugged both of my sweet babies.

Mommies Can’t Fix Everything :(

When I was a little girl and one of my toys broke I would bring it to my Dad, who always found a way to mend it. He would ask me, “What can Daddies fix?” and I would answer, “Anything!” I remember the first time I had a broken heart and he told me how sad he was that he can’t fix everything anymore.

I never thought I would be experiencing that feeling when my daughter is only four. My husband and I have diligently fixed everything from Barbie heads and legs, to scraped knees. But today, for the first time, I was not able to fix something for Leah.

I took her to the playground because it is one of the first beautiful days here in NY. Because it is Spring break, there were tons of kids there. Many of them were older, but a few were her age. She found three little girls who she tried desperately to play with, but they kept brushing her off. I watched it all happen from where I sat with Christopher in the shade, but there was nothing I could do. If I was the type of mom to say something (which I am not) it would not have taught my daughter a thing. But still, this was a lesson that I didn’t really want her to learn.

She followed them around for a good half hour (she is determined), but to no avail. The girls kept walking away from her. When we came home, she tearfully told me that she just wanted to play with them, but they told her the tree they were sitting under was private and she could have her very own rock, about 100 yards away from them. What could I do? What could I say to make it better?

I told Leah that she is an awesome little girl. There will be kids who will play with her and be her friend and that is amazing. But there will also be kids who are not willing to let in an outsider, and when that happens those kids are the ones missing out. She smiled sadly. She understood what I meant, but it didn’t take away the sting of rejection.

I guess I handled it to the best of my ability. As a mom, we all think our own kid is great and it is hard to fathom that anyone would not want to know them. Moms and Dads, how would you have handled it?

Leah on Love?

Today I had to run into the fabric store for supplies to make Christopher some new swaddle blankets, as he has already outgrown his. I left the kids and Dave in the car, as I was just running in quickly. This is, apparently, the convsersation that transpired in my absence.

Leah: Mommy is taking forever.

Dave: Yes, she is. She should be out soon.

Leah: Yeah. Or maybe she ran off with someone else.

Dave: She better not have!

Leah: Then you’d have to go after her.

I have said it before, and I know I will say it again, but “WHERE DOES SHE GET THIS STUFF?”

Confession

Leah has been wanting to watch this show on Netflix called “Color Crew”. It is very much meant for babies, not big girls who are almost five. I, however, secretly love that she is watching it. I love that my little girl can still be completely entranced by something so babyish. In fact, I delight in it.

Leah may be going to school in the fall. She may be the older sibling, my sidekick, and my fashionista. She may give me attitude and tell me that “parents are so lame.” But, some part of her still has just a smigde of baby left. And I get to see that part when she watches “Color Crew”. So, I endure the annoying little crayon voices, the repetitive music, and the mind numbing boringness of the plot (if you can call it a plot).